Confession #16: My family is beaten and broken

I have a confession....My family has suffered more this past year than I ever thought was possible. We are beaten and broken and worst of all, that has many people very pleased at our current "church."

Hearty congratulations are deserved all around to Satan's minons. Wow, what work you can accomplish with "Christians"! Your deceit, lies, backstabbing, in short, all your hard work has finally paid off. Congratulations, Satan must be so proud of you "Christians"!

Imagine if you had actually put all that effort into finding common ground, meeting in the middle, working for Christ's glory....imagine what more you could have accomplished instead of killing a pastor, destroying the faith of his wife and terrifying his children. Just imagine for a second!

God, what must it feel like to be you standing on the hill of victory with your fresh kill and captives around you? God, what will it feel like for you on judgement day when you have to answer for your crimes? God, I don't want to be there to see it.

You should really all be quite proud of yourselves, continue to pat yourselves on the back. You have won. You have won a great victory today... but not for Christ! Congratulations, you must be so proud.

Confession #15: I don't like ultimatums

I have a confession to make...I don't take ultimatums well, so it is best that you not issue them to me. I tend to do the exactly what you are telling me I must do. If you tell me I can't leave your church because I am the "pastor's wife" and my husband will suffer the consequences, I will stay and do my damnedest to make this church better and better does not mean "your way!" In fact, it will most likely mean the opposite and you will not like it.

I am not someone you can befriend and then make an enemy and then turn around and try to befriend again. It doesn't work that way. Make up your mind. If I am trying to kill your church, if I am as awful as you say I am, why on earth do you want to be my friend? You are a fool if you think I can't see what you are attempting. You've backstabbed me too often for me not to be overly cautious.

Overly cautious to the point where I don't even allow my children to attend this church. They know something is wrong. They don't understand why you are treating their parents like you are and then claiming to care for them and love them. You can't love them but be unwilling to defend them against false, stupid accusations...you cannot have it both ways. Which is it?

God, make up your damn minds and stop you whining!