I have a confession to make...I am still a member of my congregation. I tried to leave but was told in no uncertain terms that my husband would suffer for it. It is no longer in my hands. So, where do I go from here?God, was I wrong when I thought I would be so easily dismissed!
Imagine being told by your own church that you CANNOT leave simply because you are married to a certain person. How would you handle that? Could you? I mean, after all, these are "Christian" people who are suppose to love and support you as a brother or sister in Christ!
I think we should make a change...from now on, anyone married to a doctor (of any sort) can no longer leave their church, they are now a permanent member there. In addition, they must also do all the work a "pastor's wife" would: join the committees, the guilds, the choirs and everything else. Oh, but wait, that is not all. You must also lead bible studies and be chair of at least one committee and it gets better....oh yes, much better. If you say one little thing that is taken out of context, take one small misstep it reflects on your spouse. It is not just you, oh no, it is how both of you think. Lets see how long you last. Maybe then you will fuckin' let me go!
Okay, deep calming breaths (luckily the book study our church is doing teaches many great Buddhist teachings such as mindfulness and meditation). Ah, there now, I feel better. Doesn't everyone feel better when you throw in a little bit of Christ and whole lot of Buddha? But lets leave that for another time.
So, needless to say, I am still here. Still miserable and more than ever, regretting this call. I have no regrets in my life except this! It is a horrible burden to have and be able to do nothing about. Well, almost nothing. I am now on numerous boards, in one of the choirs and doing all I can with education.
In short, I am the sixth column!
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