A member of a previous congregation once said that he thought the church and the members should do everything in their power to keep the pastor and his family happy. After all, he said, if you expect you pastor to take your call in the middle of the night or come stay with you and your family when you've lost a loved one shouldn't he be happy to take care of you since you've taken care of him? This member then added that the wife of the pastor should really be made to feel happy since her husband must first get through her to come visit or take your call.
This is something that I agree with. You expect me to be happy that my husband is on call 24/7 but don't do anything to compensate him or his family for it. My husband is expected to work 8 hours every day, 6 days a week and still has to visit members whenever they call, teach Bible studies and confirmation classes, preach at funeral and weddings, do pre-marital all outside of that 8 hour/6 days a week time....and I am suppose to be happy about this without any consideration for us and how we feel here.
For example, my husband spends hours (of his time) to counsel couples before they are married, he spends his time writing their wedding sermon and preparing their wedding service and they do nothing for him. No compensation whatsoever for the last three weddings he has done. Just to clear this up, the facility fee you pay for your wedding does NOT include the pastor! Why should I stay here where my husband and family are not appreciated?
Now, I am not talking about the impossible or outrageous here, I am talking about making us feel welcome, wanted, appreciated. This can be done by phone calls, cards, emails, a dinner invite to your home...something simple goes a long way! But, hey, what do I know...I'm only the "pastor's wife."
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